All the Single Ladies (Put Your Hands Up)

The truth is I listen to the married woman write and I believe everything I see because I know it's anointed.  But I still have to turn off the television sometime and fall asleep in silence in an empty bed.  I just can't get comfortable and I can't keep my legs and my mind still, so I turn the light back on and look for something to fill the void.  Where are all of my single mamas?  It's time to call roll.

"Here!" 




My kids are asleep and it's quiet here.  I've had my glass of water and my midnight snack -- Corn Pops, but the bowl is empty.  The dishwasher cycle is done and the clothes dryer has stopped.  Surely there is one more thing I need to do before I drop off to sleep, like  watch one more rerun of Friends and get one more laugh in.  Did I get my 10 minutes of sunshine?  Did I exercise today?  Did I talk to a friend and remind myself that I have a support system?  I'll check facebook one more time. 


Did I take it to God when I thought about him again? 

I ran for a while in the park, but the thoughts were hiding under my pillowcase tonight.  And I hear Him:
"Why do you reach for the memories of your pain?"




 

I come again and again to this altar, head hanging, tears falling into the dust on a pretty blue Bible that calls out to me in this Holy telepathy.  I wish it away, saying, "I'm not going to understand anyway" and I see the amused smile in the eyes of Good God.  And I scream at Him, "Why are you keeping me from what I need?  Where is the man for me?"  And He says, ...






"...You are the only one keeping yourself from arms that long to hold you."










"Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go


When you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held


If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

When you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be heldLift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go"


I nestle my legs under the covers and turn off the light waiting for my eyes to close, and I resist the urge to conjure the eyes I love that hurt me, and I look instead for the Light in the eyes that died for me.  The Lover of my soul is here, the arms that go through skin.



Casting Crowns:  Just Be Held
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ